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com Tech savvy consumers are lining up today to be the first to purchase Sony's brand new stupid piece of shit that doesn't do the goddamn thing it's f#*king supposed to Onion News Network Tech Trends reporter, Jeff Tate has more
Thanks, Brandon It's being called the biggest f#*king waste of your hard earned money to come along in years Sony's new stupid box thing hit the shelves at crowded malls and overpriced electronic stores around the country today It's got a whole bunch more memory and megapixels and what not, than any of the other TV shit that I already have I can't wait to get home and spend my whole f#*king night trying to figure the goddamn thing out
If you can somehow claw and bit your way through the impossible to open packaging, this stupid piece of shit offers the wide variety of frustrating as hell functions Including, flashing random f#*king words and numbers on its display screen Not coming with the f#*king little do hickey thing it's supposed to And being goddamned ass backward as f#*k Sony spokesman Alan Compton said, the company designed this sucking, f#*king goddamn thing to make everyone in the modern home want to tear their f#*king eyeballs out
We listened hard to what our customers said they wanted the most out of their own home entertainment system And then, we pumped out this impossible to use fucking piece of shit Anyone mystified by the device's numerous, extraneous features, can scroll through the interactive help menu A labyrinth themed maze of indecipherable topics of use to f#*king no one We want people to be screaming in unison from houses across the country, work, work, you c#*k sucking piece of shit
What is wrong with you? Why can't you work like a normal machine? With a 100 million dollar nationwide campaign, to plaster irritating ass advertisements for the retarded hunk of garbage, every single goddamn place you look, Sony is expecting it to become the next f#*king gizmo you absolutely have to f#*king own if you don't want to feel like a toothless hillbilly living in some hillbilly shack somewhere I love bullshit like this Basically, I'll buy any goddamn thing that I see in an add The f#*king piece of shit is available now – Fuck
So, run out and pick one up, and invite all of your friends over to see if any of them can figure out this motherf#*king time vampire – F#*k Unless one of them is a rocket scientist, Sony pretty much guaran-f#*king-tees they'll have no chance For the Onion New Network, I'm Jeff Tate Thanks, Jeff
Sony says they plan to release an upgraded 800 GB version of this piece of shit by the end of the year Just when you figured out the goddamn remote control for this one It never ends, this shit STILL AHEAD THIS HOUR McCain gearing up for 2012 funeral
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