How does it feel to be the same sex as Donald Trump? That guy who built a 5 billion dollar empire? It feels pretty great How's it feel to be the same sex as my grandmother
who shits herself constantly, and can't remember anybody's birthday Why do you hate romcoms? Or do you just feel like you need to hate them? Because only skaterboi asian chicks are into that kind of shit Why do you make women sit around and talk about men in movies
when ya'll easily just sit around and talk about boobs for hours? Women only sit around and talk about men in romcoms, which only asian skaterboi chicks watch Men don't sit around talking about boobs all day They sit around talking about how great it would be to be gay
so they don't have to deal with women like you Why do you automatically assume that you won't like tv or movies that star a female lead? I don't automatically assume that Why do you automatically assume that I automatically assume that? Asian skaterboi chick
(burn!) Why are you surprised when women are funny? The same reason I'm surprised when I see Santa Claus riding a unicorn I'm probably funnier than you You're definitely not
Why do you think we're obsessed with you when we hook up? Because you're barely a four, and I'm at least a twelve (out of ten) 9 times out of ten, I just want you to leave too I'm busy I got shit to do Like showing up to Buzzfeed™ headquarters, complaining about men
and getting paid in free Chipotle™? Why can't I sleep with as many people as I want to, without being judged? Why can't I jog naked through the streets playing a tuba without being judged? Why do you consider a woman a tease if she doesn't sleep with you after three dates, but a slut if she sleeps with you on the first date? If a woman sleeps with me on the first date I consider her a saint, and potential wifey material In what world does no mean yes? In opposite world, obviously
Who doesn't know that? Why do you say that women are too "emotional" to be leaders Too emotional? You mean like airing out petty grievances against men in a Buzzfeed™ video? I'm almost expecting one of these chicks to ask me why I always leave the toilet seat up Then justify catcalling, by saying (attractive face) men just can't control themselves? How do you get all that in them jeans, mama? Why do you think that just because you're nice to me, I owe you my body? Why do you look so much like Whoopie Goldberg? (burn! lol!) Why would you ever send an unsolicited dick pic? I would never do that
Pictures of my dick are gonna cost you a little money Why do you feel like it's ok to harass women, or make offensive comments about women but when somebody does it to your sister, it's not ok? I don't have a sister
How's it feel to interrupt me, when I'm in the middle of making a point during a meeting? What meetings? You Interrupt me You work at
Interrupt me? I said, you work at Interrupt (can you believe dis shit?) Buzzfeed's not even a real job Why do you have to sit with your legs so wide open? I get that you have balls, but (attractive face) I don't stand around with my arms wide open to make room for my boobs I see how this can be a foreign concept, being that you don't have balls, and probably don't date men who do either Comparing genitals to breasts is a horrible analogy however
That'd be like me saying: Why does your crotch bleed everywhere all the time? Mine tends to not do that It's like comparing apples to oranges Not that you would understand that comparison either Cheesecake factory (c-c-c-combo breaker!) Why are women perceived as the "weaker" sex
even though we literally birth you like watermelons, through like this (makes hand vagina) First off, how many kickflips can you do there, skaterboi? Probably none That's pretty weak if you ask me And number two If you can "literally" squeeze a watermelon out of your vagina
hit me up We're gonna make a lot of money Why is it so bad to show your emotions? Because people who are too emotional, can't be leaders
Why are you always trying to prove your masculinity to me? Sorry I mistook you for one of those other women, who like their men to exhibit masculine traits as opposed to being easily manipulated, effeminite, beta males My apologies m'lady
(fedora tip) Why the (edited) isn't it ladylike to cuss? Don't ask me Buzzfeed's the one who's beeping out your profanity They're probably also only paying you 75% of what they're paying the beta males who work there When did words get genders? (srsly?) Words have always had genders, sweetcheeks Would you want someone to refer to you as a policeman? Or to your dad as a queen? Why is it your first instinct to doubt women who have been sexually violated, or raped? It's my first instinct to doubt 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 who claims to have been raped
because the US judicial system is grossly skewed in favor of the accuser
A false rape allegation is considered a misdemeanor, and rarely results in jail time The accused however, can end up losing their job or social standing spending a substantial amount of time in jail
or even being murdered in a misguided act of vengeance Ultimately, I would rather doubt an accuser, until all the facts have come to light rather than to ruin the life of somebody who might be the victim of a fake rape accusation Why do you assume a woman's angry because she's on her period? The only thing I assume about a woman on her period, is that she's bloody Why do you think women that wear makeup are false advertising? The same reason it would be false advertising for me to rent a Lamborghini and drive around trying to pick up chicks We could say the same thing about your dick size You could also say the same thing about grape jello Except you totally can't because those two things have nothing to do with each other
You're actually worse at making analogies than that manspread chick who was a four (out of ten) Why isn't it weird that there's a bunch of old white men sitting in a room making legislation about what I can and can't do with my body? Would you prefer a bunch of old black men, you racist? These men also decide who I can and cannot marry, and whether or not I can get 420 toasty blazed
If this issue bothers you that much, maybe you should educate yourself, and start voting libertarian Then you can do whatever the hell you want with your body Do you have a coochie? One of those things that keeps your beer cold? I've got a few of those, thank you for asking Why are straight guys so obsessed with lesbians? Guys are obsessed with straight women pretending to be lesbians, not 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭 lesbians How does it feel to get kicked in the balls? It feels great mistress
Please may I have another? (seizure intensifies) Do you ever get tired of trying to be manly all the time? I don't have to try to be manly Do you ever get tired of not being able to land a kickflip? Why are you so afraid of gender equality? I'm not afraid of equality That's why I'm an egalitarian, and not a feminist, or a meninist Why are you afraid of executing a proper kickflip? Why do I deserve to be paid less than you? Probably because I work a technical job, that requires some degree of training while you work at Buzzfeed™ as an intern Get a real job, and you'll see a real paycheck In what world does 77 cents equal a dollar? A world full of skewed statistics, mistruths, propaganda, manufactured oppression and a complete lack of reading comprehension (totally owned) In what world does 68 cents equal a dollar? I think you just converted (British) pounds to US dollars
The correct fake statistic you're looking for, is 75 to 78 cents, depending on your source of propaganda Why are you intimidated by a woman who makes more money than you? I'm not As a matter of fact, if any rich women see this, hit me up I'm in the market for a sugar momma Why are opinionated women seen as bitches? Generally, when an individual is labelled with a word like "bitch" or "dick"
it has less to do with their opinions, and more to do with how they choose to deliver those opinions If you choose to deliver your opinions in an arrogant, condescending manner you might be labelled a bitch When opinionated men are seen as bosses A boss is somebody you report to in a working environment, regardless of their opinion Why aren't you speaking up when you hear your male friends, behind closed doors
make jokes that are offensive to women? (#entitlement) Because freedom of speech is something that actually exists Being a "funny" person and all, I figured you would understand this concept Why are you so afraid of recognizing your own privilege? I'll acknowledge my privilege, the second you start acknowledging yours
Here's some memes for you to study (so rekt, bro)
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