Antony: Welcome to the first episode of Drunk Regulatory History, where we examine ridiculous alcohol laws Speaker 2: Who are you? Antony: This week, we bring you the five dumbest alcohol laws in the state of Virginia
Here in Virginia, it is illegal to hold happy hours after 9 pm Speaker 2: Why do you hate happiness, Virginia? Antony: If you normally charge $5 for drinks, you can't drop the price to $3 at 9 pm Speaker 2: You can't just charge $3 all day for drinks
Antony: No, actually you could do that Speaker 2: That's dumb Antony: Indeed, and this is the difference between a regulation's intent and a regulation's effect Speaker 2: Someone went to college Antony: The regulation's intent is to reduce drunk driving by reducing the number of drinks people have after 9 p
m, but the regulation's effect is to cause people to order many drinks at 8:55, drink them while the price is still low, then drive home drunk Speaker 2: Virginia wants me to drink and drive? Antony: No, but the law intended to prevent you from drinking and driving ends up encouraging you to drink and drive Speaker 2: You're the scientist Antony: Virginia not only restricts when bar owners can hold happy hours, but in what seems to be a clear violation of the First Amendment, tells them that they cannot use the words happy hours outside their establishments
Speaker 2: That can't be true Antony: It is, try it Speaker 2: Come on down to the bar, where from 6 to 9, we will be having a happy Antony: I told you Speaker 2: Are you a wizard? Antony: Virginia also prohibits alcohol sales from 2 am to 6 am
Just like the 9 pm curfew on happy hour, this law ends up encouraging people who would otherwise buy alcohol between 2 and 6 am to stock up at 1:55
Speaker 2: What time is it? Antony: Virginia oddly also prohibits the sale of alcohol in novel or unusual containers The law specifically prohibits humorous representations, containers in the shape of something laughable Speaker 2: No container shaped like Virginia alcohol laws Antony: Bars in the state of Virginia are some of the most regulated businesses, no ifs, ands or buts Speaker 2: Like a butt, like you can't touch my butt
Antony: That's actually true Speaker 2: That was a joke Antony: In Virginia, touching your own butt in a bar is against the law Speaker 2: Butt in Virginia, you're funny Antony: How do we even get dumb laws like this? It's because lawmakers aren't considering the unintended consequences of the laws that they enact
When they write laws telling people what to do, they often overlook the fact that people will alter their behavior so as to get around the law without necessarily breaking it Speaker 2: If you won't let me touch my own butt in the bar, I'll touch it outside Antony: Sadly, well-intended laws often achieve results that are well, pretty dumb Speaker 2: Hey you're pretty too Antony: Thankfully, that's all the time we have for drunk regulatory history
Do you have a dumb liquor law where you live? If so, let us know in the comments section and we'll see how it stacks up to the alcohol laws in the state of Virginia Heywood: Virginia, we heard you loud and clear, and in hindsight, the whole happy hour thing was pretty dumb We have amended the law You may now use the phrases happy hour and drink specials, but no other alcoholic beverage related phrase can be promoted within that timeframe Also, the word discounted may not be used
The specific type of drinks may not be listed The discount amounts cannot be promoted and 2 for 1 drink specials or unlimited alcoholic beverages are still totally illegal anytime, any place Fixed it Speaker 2: Do you have dumb liquor laws in your area that seem pretty dumb? Write a thing below
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