– [Narrator] Yo mama so fat Donald Trump used her as the border wall
– Oh it's perfect It's huge – [Narrator] She takes selfies in panorama mode That she wakes up on both sides of the bed She doesn't need Internet
She's already worldwide! Yo mama so stupid she thought Instagram was a weed delivery service She went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth She tried to climb Mountain Dew! Yo mama so ugly when Santa Clause saw her he said – Ho, ho, holy shit – [Narrator] When she signed into GTA online she got an instant five stars
(police sirens) Her reflection said – I quit – [Narrator] Yo mama so fat when she sat on the iPod she made the iPad! When I pictured her in my head she broke my neck She wears two watches One for each time zone she's in
She got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack (police sirens) – Just get in the freaken' car – Yo mama so old she pre-ordered the Bible She was a waitress at the last supper She sat next to Moses in third grade
Yo mama so hairy when she gave birth to you (screams) you got carpet burn, bro Big foot took her picture She shaves with a weed wacker Yo mama so stupid she thought a quarterback was a refund She spent 20 minutes staring at a carton of orange juice because it said "concentrate"! She put paper on the TV and called it paper view
She put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent Yo mama so fat when she went on a diet she ended world hunger When she died she broke the stairway to heaven When she stepped on a scale it read my phone number When she sat on a rainbow she made Skittles
Yo mama so poor when I stepped on a cigarette to put it out she said, "Hey, who turned off the heat?" She hangs toilet paper out to dry She takes the trash in She took the job at Freddy Fazzbear's Pizza twice (creepy chuckle) Yo mama so short when she smokes weed she can't even get high! She hang glides on a Dorito! She broke her leg getting off the toilet You can see her legs on her driver's license photo
– How do you even freaken' drive this car? – Yo mama so fat Darth Vader (Darth Vader's theme music) couldn't even force choke her She's Miley Cyrus's wrecking ball People jog around her for exercise Snorlax evolves into her (techno music) Yo mama so stupid she thought that Starbucks was alien currency
She thought seaweed was something that fish smoke (laughs) When I told her Christmas was around the corner she went and looked for it She threw water at the computer to put out a flame war Oh! Yo mama so ugly when God said – Let there be light
– [Narrator] He shouted – Oh me! Never mind – [Narrator] She's the reason why the Ninja Turtles hide in the sewers Scorpion said, "Stay over there!" She makes blind kids cry (sobbing) Yo mama so fat her blood type is Nutella
She jumped up in the air and got stuck she fed an entire zombie apocalypse Her farts cause global warming (farts) Yo mama so stupid she tried to take Snoop Dogg for a walk – Stop pulling so hard
– [Narrator] When she heard it was chilly outside she ran and got a bowl She got fired from the M&M factory for throwing out the Ws! She studied for a drug test by taking all of the drugs Yo mama so old she knew Gandalf before he had a beard She knew Chica when she was just a chica She used to babysit Apocalypse
– No It is not my bedtime – [Narrator] She knew Burger King when he was just a prince (romantic music) Yo mama so ugly when she took a selfie the picture said "censored" At the strip club people pay her to keep her clothes on
She was an extra in Thriller (Thriller music) When she looked out of her window she got arrested for mooning (police sirens) – It was your face, huh? That's what they all say Get in the car! – Yo mama so short she pole dances on a candy cane (techno music) Yeah! She travels on a toy train
She ice skates on an ice cube She uses a Tostito as a boat Yo mama so fat Cupid's arrows couldn't pierce her When she climbed into a monster truck it became a low rider The horse on her polo shirt is real
– Get me down from here – When she went out in a green bikini everyone shouted "Godzilla" Yo mama so stupid she brought a spoon to the Superbowl Yeah! She returned a doughnut because it had a hole in it She thought Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company
She played got your nose with Voldemort (intense music) (screams) Yo mama so damn ugly her face could stop the Juggernaut – Oh no! – [Narrator] Her portraits hang themselves (screams) When she bought a new car it transformed and ran away – Let's get the hell out of here
– [Narrator] The Devil saw her He started going to church (organ music) – God It's, uh, me The Devil
Yeah, sorry about all that stuff I did Feel like I'm just a real, real asshole So uh, just please, please take me back Come on, God We used to be buddies
Oh God, oh she's here I'm sorry a thousand times, just take me back Come on, Man, stop being a dick! – [Narrator] Yo mama so hairy the only language she speaks is Wookie (growls) (growls) She stars in Donkey Kong games (Donkey Kong theme music) When she woke up she found herself in a cage at the zoo
When your father took her out to eat, the waiter said – Sorry, no pets allowed – Yo mama so fat when she wears her yellow rain coat people yell out "taxi"! She's a citizen of every country Her school pictures were taken by a satellite Even Kirby can't eat her
(squeaks) Yo mama so stupid she heard Orange was the New Black and thought Donald Trump became president – Yo mama is a stupid, disgusting animal – She took her computer to the doctor because it had a virus She thought light sabers had less calories Yo mama so ugly that Minecraft Creepers are afraid of her
She made the Illuminati close its eye She made Jeff the Killer frown Neither Jacob nor Edward want her on their team (screams) Team Brody, yeah Yo mama so fat she uses the highway as a slip and slide
(explosions) She puts on her belt with a boomerang Her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard When she fell in love she broke it Yo mama so poor she went to KFC to lick people's fingers She eats cereal with a fork to save milk
When I asked her "what's for dinner" she took off her shoelaces and said "spaghetti" Yo mama so stupid she thought chicken strips was a strip club for chickens – Take it off, you chicken slut – [Narrator] She thought fruit punch was a gay boxer She stays up all night trying to catch some sleep
She went to the Apple store to get a big MAC Yo mama so old her birthday candles caused global warming Her memory is in black and white Her birth certificate says, "Expired" When she went to the museum she saw some of her exes
♫ Yo mama so fat ♫ Not even Superman ♫ Can lift her She occupies Wall Street all by herself I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing She broke the 256 block limit on Minecraft Yo mama so ugly she made the Joker stop laughing (bright music) (laughs) When Ice Cube saw her he melted
(growls) – Ah shit, I'm melting, melting – [Narrator] When she joined an ugly contest they said – Sorry, no professionals – She turned Medusa to stone (screams) Yo mama so short she became Ant Man's side kick She bakes cookies with Keebler elves
She can do back flips under the bed (applauds) What's going on down there? Yo mama so fat when she jumped into a pool NASA found water on mars Even her clothes have stretch marks Even Dora couldn't explora When she posted a naked picture of herself online she literally broke the internet
(sirens) (techno music) Yo mama so stupid she thought KFC was UFC for chickens (intense music) She went out for drinks with Bill Cosby When the doctor told her to burn some calories she sat a fat person on fire Yo mama so freaken' ugly the Terminator said – Ew, I won't be back
– Her pillow cries at night – Why? – [Narrator] Bob the Builder said – I can't fix that – [Narrator] When she plays Super Smash Bros (screams) the characters run off the stage – [Narrator] Go! (gasps) – [Narrator] Yo mama so fat she needs cheat codes for Wii Fit
When she went to school she sat next to the whole class She volunteered as tribute for the hunger games because she thought it was an eating competition The cops use her as a road block Yo mama so hairy she gots afros on her nipz – Can you dig it? – [Narrator] They filmed the National Geographic in her bathroom
She plays Five Nights of Freddy's the animatronics thought she already had a suit Yo mama so stupid she thought high school was a school for drug addicts She thought Nickelback was a refund ♫ Look at this stupid bitch When she saw the McDonald's drive through sign she drove through the building Yo mama so old when she listened to Skrillex she died
Her breast milk is (stutters) powder When she farts dust comes out (farts) When I told her to act her age she freaken' died Yo mama so fat Jabba the Hutt said (laughs) – Ew
– [Narrator] Elephants throw peanuts at her Every time she turns around it's her birthday When she dies in Call of Duty the player gets the five-person kill streak – [Radio] Airbag is ready for direction Show us where you want it
– [Narrator] Yo mama so ugly when she played Majora's Mask (spooky music) The moon yelled – No No No
– [Narrator] She made an onion cry (gasps) – Put her away, man – [Narrator] She needs a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her One Direction went the other direction Yo mama so stupid she tried to buy drugs at the high way
Stopped at the stop sign and waited for it to say "go"! She thinks that Jar Jar comes with pickles pickles She made an appointment with Dr Pepper (crickets chirp) Yo mama so short she limbos under the door (applauds) She committed suicide by jumping off the bed She hooks up with LEGOs
(dance music) Yo mama so fat Nappa asked how much she weighed Vegeta said – It's over 9,000! – When Dracula sucked her blood he got diabetes When she bungee jumps the bridge breaks Steven Hawking based his black hole theory on her asshole Damn it, Hawking! Yo mama so poor she chases after the garbage truck with a shopping list
She waves around a Popsicle and calls it air conditioning The ducks throw bread at her Nigerian scammers wire money to her (gasps) (whimpers) How did you afford that? (car engine running) Yo mama so ugly when Darth Vader looked at her birth certificate he said – Bitch
I am not your father – [Narrator] She's the reason why Sonic runs fast When the Kool Aid man busted through her wall he said – Oh no – [Narrator] When she watches TV the channels change themselves
Yo mama so stupid Kylo Ren couldn't force read her mind (intense music) – [Kylo] Tell me where they are Wait No? There's, there's nothing There's nothing here
There's nothing here – [Narrator] She bought tickets to Xbox Live! She thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team She uses Old Spice body wash to cook – Smells like power! (stutters) Power – [Narrator] Yo mama Mia so fat in Super Mario Galaxy she was a freaken' planet
Half of her is in a parallel universe Her belly button gets home 15 minutes before she does Sorting hat assigned her to the House of pancakes – So old your mama is Babysit me she once did
Change my diaper she still does – Yoda, oh, oh no (music box music) Yo mama so ugly the Walkers from the Walking Dead refuse to eat her When she played the scary maze game the picture said, "I quit" When she tried to take a bath the water jumped out
– Oh, fuck this I'm out of here – Yo mama so stupid she tried to eat Creepypasta (creepy music) When she worked at Freddy Fazzbear's Pizza she stuffed herself in the suit She returned a puzzle because she thought it was broken
She thought Call of Duty was a game about pooping No! No! No! ♫ Yo mama is so fat In Steven Universe she's a fusion of all the gems (piano music) When she goes camping bears hide their food from her In Indiana Jones she was the boulder (intense music) She asked for a waterbed they put a blanket over the Atlantic ocean
Yo mama so ugly Ben Drowned drowned himself again Her birth certificate is an apology letter from the Trojan Man Not even Goldfish Crackers smile back Freddy and his friends hide from her Yo mama so hairy when she auditioned for Planet of the Apes they made her pack leader
People wonder why she wears a fur coat to a nude beach When she posted her sex tap online it got flagged for bestiality (growls) Yo mama so stupid the zombies walked past her because they didn't smell any brains When I said drinks were on the house she went and got a ladder She tried to drown a fish
She got hit by a cup and told the cops she got mugged – Stop resisting – [Narrator] Yo mama so fat Google created the Google Mama to explore her She broke the family tree Last time she saw 90210 was on a scale
Her splash attack does damage (Pokemon music) Yo mama so ugly when she went into the bathroom she scared the shit out of the toilet Forever Alone Guy denied her friend request She's the reason why Waldo is hiding When she died the Grim Reaper refused to take her
– I'm the Grim Reaper Master of the forces of life and dead Oh, God I'm not taking that ratchet thing – [Narrator] Yo mama so stupid she tried to wake up sleeping pills
– Wake up, you sleepy head – [Narrator] Rebecca Black told her Thursday comes before Friday She spent the whole day saying "am not" to R2 D2 (beeps) – Uh, am not (beeps) Uh, am not
– Yo mama so short she's Ray William Johnson's stunt double She drives Hot Wheels Oh yeah! Criss Cross Crash! When she plays Five Nights of Freddy's the animatronics jumped out at her and they hit the wall (screams) Shenron! Tell me your best Yo Mama joke – Hmm
Yo mama so fat she asked me to make her thin, but it was far beyond my power – [Narrator] When she played Candyland she ate the board game When she made a PS3 account the entire network crashed Yo mama so stupid she threw baseballs at Batman – I'm Batman
Ow Hey, lady, stop throwing shit at me Ow Stop it, lady Ow
I'm a, ow I'm not that kind of Batman Ow, ow Stop it – [Narrator] She goes to the post office to send an email
When she got locked in a grocery store she starved to death (clock chimes) She got hit by a parked car (intense music) Yo mama so ugly government decided to move Halloween to her birthday She made my Happy Meal cry (sobs) She gives Freddy Kreuger nightmares
Hello Kitty said goodbye Yo mama so fat Rick and Morty thought her belly button was a portal to another dimension When the Flash tried to run around her he died before he could even get half way She's a map on Call of Duty (explosions) The first time she played Miitomo Drop she collected all the prizes
Yo mama so old her first Christmas was The First Christmas She still owes Jesus five bucks Her first cruise was on Noah's Ark When she was in school, there was no history Yo mama so stupid Bill Cipher can't even possess her
(chuckles) – [Bill] Good one Is that Joe from Family Guy Wait, what? Woah There's nothing here – [Narrator] She thought the star of Austin Powers was Michael Myers
She sold her car for gas money She yelled into an envelope (screams) because she wanted to send a voicemail Yo mama so (gags) ugly when she went into a haunted house (vocalizations) she came out with a job application When she joined Myspace (retches) everyone switched to Facebook Slenderman runs from her
(intense music) She's also the reason he has no eyes When Deadpool saw her, he said – [Deadpool] Oh Oh, God Uh-uh
I can't even look at this bitch And here I thought I was ugly – Yo mama so fat she doesn't fit in a yo mama video She's on both sides of the family When she walked by the TV you miss the entire show
When she played Five Nights of Freddy's Freddy found her (screams) and couldn't fit her in the costume She had to be baptized at Sea World What I'm trying to say is your mother is a whale A whale of a good time Yeah! (techno music)
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